it has been a while...

Maybe someday I'll come back here, but for now...this is all I have to say. 

this is my happy place.

5, 6, 7, 8.

So I have a pretty good reason for getting behind on my blogger challenge, (thanks to a road trip to CA to see my sister-in-law return from her 18-month mission to NY!) but here's a little catch up from all the days I missed.

PUBLIC PROFESSION of LOVE to.... this blogger and this blogger.

Ms. McKenzie and I go way back to my freshman year of college (her sophomore). She was the roommate of my BFF I met in the lunch line at school (Rachel). It took us a while to become good friends, but once we did become friends it was beautiful. The thing about she and I? We have lots in common: same major (and in turn, same classes), same love for literature and writing, same job now, same job in the Fall (different schools, same district), same newlywed boat, and some day we will write a tv show together (just you wait!). I love the way she writes and I love her, so I love her blog.

The lovely Grace and I have been friends even longer. We took a tumbling class together before we went to the same high school and played on the tennis team (she was much better than I). The best thing about us though? We lived in London together and traveled all around Europe eating meringue and matching and have been quite close ever since. I love her and her blog because let's get real, the lady has class. I really do adore her and her beautiful self.

...

If someone asked me what I do, besides what I do, I would say I love deeply, think too much, and try to laugh as much as possible. I take myself way too seriously sometimes and not serious enough other times. I'm an avid tv watcher, book reader, food eater, and dream dreamer.

...

I've always been most afraid of being alone. So afraid that it used to keep me up at night. Just the idea of having absolutely no one scared me, even though I knew it would never happen. I'm also afraid of putting myself out there and being rejected. I'm sure of other things too I just can't think of any.

...

Don't back down. On anything. If I have had any regrets in life they are all in relation to not trying hard enough or quitting too easily.

words I love.

There are too many quotes that I love. So here are some of my favorites found via Pinterest.

I love them because they are me. And they make me happy.

*PS Sorry they're annoyingly big and don't look that good. I'm trying to figure out this whole formatting thing. 

things that make me uncomfortable.

My own awkwardness. 
Mean people. 
Thoughts of inadequacy. 
Not knowing what to do. 
Uncontrollable blushing. 
My (always) sweaty hands. 
Silence when sitting with people I don't know well. 
Overly ambitious salespeople. 
Fan-fiction. 
Michael Scott. 

on the art of procrastinating.

If there is one thing I am exceptionally good at, it's procrastinating.
The key to excelling at procrastination is just going with the flow.
Big paper to write? No problem, start a new TV series.
Time consuming project you need to finish? That's fine, spend a few hours on Pinterest or Tumblr.
Lesson that needs planning? It can wait, take a nap.

Basically, all you need to do is wait until the last possible minute and it's incredible what you can achieve. And this is my post for explaining why my post for day two is on day three.

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well." 

Nicely put, Mark Twain. I knew there was a reason I liked you. 

story of my life.

I'm a Provo, UT girl through and through--born and raised since 1990. Seriously, I will defend this city 'til I die. I'm from a family of five kids and I adore each one of my siblings. I am quite grateful to have three brothers; they make a girl strong. We grew up road tripping to Newport Beach and laughing a lot. I think I've probably hung out with my parents more than any of my other friends, and I'm not going to lie, I love it that way. They are my favorite people. When I was little I was always the spectator of my siblings sports, so much so that I didn't do much else. When I hit middle school I finally took a funk class as well as tumbling...can't say I was great at either, but I had fun because I did it with my best friend Hayley. In high school I was on the tennis team for two years and loved it. I was one of the choir girls all four years--my senior year in the chamber choir. I graduated thinking I would do something, anything in the medial field because it was what I had always planned on. Obviously that changed and I wound up exactly where Heavenly Father wanted me, fixing peoples minds instead of their bodies (as one professor put it so perfectly). I figured out how in love with learning I am at BYU. I took lots of classes and had the time of my life living in Europe for four months. Of course, the best part of my BYU experience was meeting the man I get to spend eternity with. How lucky is that? 

[me and my BFF/little brother alex. you'll notice that I consider my entire family, my husband, and my actual friends to all be my BFFs]

...

I came across this challenge via my friend jen. I feel pretty much the same way she does about it and think that the prompts are just what I need to get me writing again...which is something I've been thinking about for a while. So feel free to join, or read, or whatever you want!

23.

A prime number. The atomic number of vanadium. Michael Jordan's jersey number (oh, and Nathan Scott's).

So I can no longer sing Taylor Swift's 22 with quite as much zeal as before. But it's totally fine because Blink 182, Jimmy Eat World and Yellowcard wrote songs about being 23. I'm partial to odd numbers, so I actually prefer it.

This year really took me for a spin, but in the best of ways.

Since my last birthday...
I went on a couple different road trips to California.
I bought a plane ticket to New York City on a whim.
I went to NYC and explored its glory.
I got engaged for the second time (to the same person).
I got married in the Provo temple.
I spent my first Christmas away from home.
I went on road trips with friends to Lake Mead and Boulder, UT.
I went to San Francisco with my inlaws.
I took all of my teaching classes.
I got a job as a mentor at a therapeutic boarding school.
I was hired for my first teaching job in the fall.

And I spent my birthday with my mom and then my husband, mostly just eating good food.

The only real hiccup of my day was when I decided to finally use my floating lantern (that I've been dying to use since I fell in love with Tangled) and it basically was a disaster. It didn't work at all, but I guess it makes for a good story. Think: my sister-in-law almost catching everything on fire as she waved the lantern around to fill it with air and eventually my brother throwing cups of water and my husband stomping the whole thing out. All while the rest of us were screaming and laughing at the same time.

Life is pretty good my friends, it really is.

Read my 22 post here. 

happiness is:

staying up too late to read a book.

staying up too late to read a book while sitting next to your husband (who is watching a tv show). 

good books. 

really good books that make you cry. 

turning in a 20 page paper. (can you say accomplishment?)

getting a call from a professor about an open internship for next year. 

rocking the interview for said internship. 

getting hired for your first teaching job ever. 

as a real teacher.

not actually having to do student teaching. 

hugs from nieces and nephews. 

teaching sunday lessons that go well. 

finishing a final. 

birthday weeks.

eating ice cream from the container.

finishing a semester.

finding lists about your blessings you wrote when you were 13(ish).

best friends.

making birthday plans.

the prospect of summer bike rides and road trips.

things just working out and fitting nicely together.

that's the happiest of all.

looking up.

I was going through some pictures on my computer that I took with my phone and came across this gem: 

"I told him I was looking up at the sky. He said, "That's a misconception, Lennie, the sky is everywhere, it begins at your feet."

Does anyone else love that as much as I do? It's from a YA novel called The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson. I read it last Spring semester for a Young Adult lit class. 

Endless possibility in such a statement. I can't quite come up with why or how, but it's beautiful. 

tunes for finals.

There are certain songs that I could listen to on repeat for...like...ever. 

No, it's true. I made a playlist a while back of these repeatable songs and thought I would share. 

I've been listening to it all day as I write my 20 page paper that is due (too) soon. 

It doesn't have all the songs that have gone through the over-and-over-and-over again phase in my life, but quite a few of them.

PS. I'm almost positive this music must say something about me, I'm just not sure what. 

I'm into slow jamz? (Ha.) If you have any ideas for me on that one, please share.

PPS. Don't expect anything too "hipster" or "cool" about my playlist, I'm simply a fan of anything pretty to my ears. 

one of the 1,230,484 things I need to keep telling myself:

(in other words: don't give up!)

dear wellies,

Seeing you around town on a rainy day is like seeing an old friend: always comforting and full of good memories. I must admit, I put you on every chance I get. Your hunter logo and cool gray color never disappoint. I think of that time you were with me as I climbed to the top of St. Paul's with some of my favorite people. There was also that time in the Lake District on that hike where we ate the famous gingerbread and hung out with Peter Rabbit. And yes, that was the time I fell in the river. I might have trusted you a little too much. But of course, it wasn't your fault. Remember Italy? Salzburg and Prague? In Germany you didn't keep me as warm as I might have liked, but still. You took me to the places of dreams and others things I can't quite describe.

So I suppose this is thank you. Times one million and three. These rainy days are filled with hundreds of only the loveliest of memories thanks to you.

With all sorts of love,

molly jane xo

PS wellies in action

"unexpected intrusions of beauty. this is what life is." (saul bellow)

"Read books. Care about things. Get excited. Try not to be too down on yourself. Enjoy the ever present game of knowing." (Hank Green)

everything via

the world is puddle-wonderful.

I just wrote an entire post about a lot of great stuff...but it got deleted...sad.

You should probably read this poem anyway. And tell me to stop stressing about the million things I have to do and just do them.

Spring makes everything lovelier and I've got some major plans in the works, so just you wait.

Coming up soon: the end of my days on BYU campus as a zoobie, my birthday (!!!), a book club, and other adventures (some pretty great ones).

If you read my blog, I just want you to know that I love you. I really do.

random pictures from this year.

 

New Year's Day in Frisco// One of my favorite accidental pictures in SF with Jeffrey's family// A beautiful weekend in Boulder, UT with friends// One of the 14 days of Valentine's I did for my sweetheart// The sweetest V-day card from him// Valentine's night at Little America// Pizza Heart partywith some lovely people// Date nights with the fam & twinner glasses// Just because it's the sweetest picture ever

Trying to post more pictures. Mostly from my phone (sorry for the low quality). 

Follow me on instagram for more photograph fun: @mollyjaney 

(*Warning...my insta is mostly of my niece and nephew...but don't worry, they're the cutest ever)

silver linings.

I taught a lesson today at church and I came across this quote: 

"Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."  -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

And it's just the kind of thing I can't help but share. I hope your Sunday has been as lovely as mine. I can feel Spring coming, I really can. (...even if it is supposed to snow this week)

...

• My professor called me "poetry lady" which caught me off guard, but it was a compliment and she made me feel like a rock star for a whole minute (nerd alert, I know). 
• I got a job! Thanks to one of my favorite people I'm now a mentor at a school for at-risk youth. I know, I'm growing up so fast. 
• My food cravings as of late have been celery with peanut butter and all sorts of breakfast foods. Serious cravings, I tell you. 
• My cousin called me a hipster. I think it's because of my new glasses. But I just wanted it in writing that I am really far, far from anything related to 'hipster'. 
• There are two 7th grade boys (at the school I'll be teaching at) who asked me if I knew their sisters because they go to BYU too. (Never heard of them, I felt bad).
• I have a professor that looks and sounds exactly like Robin Williams. No joke. I always want him to stand up on the desk and recite "O captain, my captain." I bet he'd do it. He's super into Walt Whitman. 
• Jeff & I started watching "The Worst Cooks in America" on the food channel and it is hilarious. It makes me feel like I'm not that bad in the kitchen. Which is a win. 
• I love my classes right now. I learn a lot every single day, but I'm really looking forward to Summer. And reading any book that I want. 
• My little brother comes home from his mission in Guatemala in less than three months. I. Can't. Wait. 
• March starts this week...whaaat? How did that happen?

day of hearts.

Sometimes I'm really good at being cheesey. I mean...I seriously loved High School Musical in high school...and I actually still love it. If that doesn't speak volumes of me, I don't know what will. So here's  a little cheese for you this Valentines day.

In 2010 I wrote a poem about this boy named Jeff (aka my husband). I tend to write poems when my heart aches. And he was dating someone else at the time...so I pulled out my words for comfort.
(judge if you want, I don't mind ;)


speckle stars.

speckle freckles. 

both my favorite.

without lights. up at the top somewhere. 

so I can see the speckle stars. 

in the back of your truck. faces together.

so I can see your speckle freckles. 

then hold me tight. 

tell me you miss me. 

not because we've been away from each other.

but because you hate every second we aren't touching.

tell me those words you've never told anyone else.

the words you know I won't say back.

not because I'm forcing you to.

but because you can't stand me not knowing the truth.

because it's the only thing left to do.

make sure you understand how

you scared me

to death.

and how I wish that night had 

lasted forever. 

I'll sing in your ear for the rest 

of your life.

if you'll let me.

it's part of the beauty.

of falling in love with you.

the fear.

you won't fall. 

I love seeing how much I've grown up since writing this. How many things have changed. How many things have stayed the same despite everything.

And basically this is this year's love note to the love of my life. I love you, Jeffrey and I have since the beginning (even though I tried hard to deny it!) You make me better and I can't wait for all the adventures life has in store for us. I'm so happy you let me sing to you still, it means a whole lot.

p.s. read my valentine for him last year here.

tumbling.

a few of my favorites from my tumblr as of late. 

I hope you enjoy looking at them as much as I do,

xo

total eclipse of the heart.

Today has been one of those days. You know, the kind where you spend 30 minutes driving around campus (unable to find a spot) crying your eyes out. And when I say crying, I mean full on weeping. The real, red face, ruined make up kind of stuff. Also the stuff of failed expectations, deadlines, and I'll just say it: hormones.

I kind of felt like Cate Blanchett on Bandits*. Even though I wasn't singing Total Eclipse of the Heart (probably would have been cooler if I had been) and I have a husband that cares about me a whole lot, I was getting pretty dramatic. I hate these days, but in a way they are also quite cathartic. Which sometimes I need.

Lucky for me I got to eat lunch with that husband of mine and he laughed with me at my ridiculousness. He's kind of the best.

*If you haven't seen Bandits, you need to. Right away.

a new name.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

For years and years I have had this line in my head--"hope is the thing with feathers." I'm not sure why, or when, or even how it got stuck there, but stuck it is. And I quite like it that way. I thought I would share it, because...well...I kind of love it.

Hope as the thing with feathers, the thing that flies, the thing that is always there. The tune without the words. Oh, Emily Dickinson, you knew how to say stuff that's for sure.

PS happy february! possibly one of my very most favorite months.

fundamentally changed.

Have I told you lately how much I love my major? Every day I feel inspired in all sorts of ways. At times I think I might be the worst teacher ever and at other times I think maybe I'll be great. And I guess that's part of its glory. I came across this quote on tumblr:

Reading honest literature makes you love the world. Knowledge and understanding are love. Reading educates our feelings and enhances our sympathy. When you read for understanding, you are fundamentally changed. You are a different person at the end of the story or the novel than you were when it began.
John Dufresne

I have this deep love, this adoration, this real belief in reading. And in knowledge. Today I started my practicum at Oak Canyon Jr. High School and I met the teacher that I will be a student teacher for in the Fall. Pretty exciting stuff if you ask me! I'm just thrilled to be able to help my students learn and understand things they didn't before. Because for me, it really is all about love. I love the kids. I love language. I love learning. Teaching this stuff won't always come easy and they won't always feel the way I do about it, but the fact that I get to try is enough for me. 

ferry friends.

So I decided that Walt Whitman and I might have been buddies, if we lived at the same time (and we were neighbors or something). Of course, I don't actually know this. And I am basing this on one fact alone: he liked to ride ferries. All day long, in fact. He would give the ferry man a dime and stay on that boat until they forced him off.

I'm pretty sure one of my top moments in Frisco was riding the ferry to and from Alcatraz. The views! The breeze! The water! Glorious, I tell you.

Can you imagine? A ferry ride with Mr. Whitman? O captain, my captain...that would be a ride for the books.

my first attempt at a panoramic picture. (from the back side of a ferry, naturally)

like stars.

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man in the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny." 

(Carl Shurz, quoted by Spencer W. Kimball in his "Second Century Address")

This quote was shared in one of my classes on the first day. And it kind of stuck with me.

a new year.

Well, I took this year's Winter break quite seriously. As soon as I finished my last week of school (which included endless hours on my laptop doing projects and papers and studying) I simply put my computer away and didn't even look at it until I was back in school last week. In the time I spent away I had my first Christmas in California with my darling husband, I went to San Francisco for the first time and let's get real--I did lots and lots of nothing mixed in with whatever I wanted (which most of the time, meant more nothing).

Seeing as how it is basically half way into January already, I thought I might write down some of the things that have been filling my thoughts with all of this beginning/clean slate/new goals talk around town.

I've never been very good at your traditional "Resolutions." I mean, I usually set them (see: no sugar, go to the gym more, write more often...) and I usually am disappointed in my lack of motivation/initiative and generally completely forget about said goals by February 1st.

2013 seems like such a fantastic year to be different. Better. Best, even. Let me tell you why...

Twenty-Thirteen is an odd year. And for me, odds just work.
I'll be 23 this year, and as far as I'm concerned that means I'm that much closer to grown up things.
I've already started my last semester of my undergraduate career (sort of: student teaching in the Fall)
If all goes as planned, I'll be a college graduate by December!

Let's just say this: I have such high hopes for this year. I mean, 2012, you ended up being pretty spectacular. In some ways, last year was one of the hardest years of my life. In other ways, it was the very best. 2012 gave me some major growing pains, but it is also the year I will always remember as the one that gave me my Jeffrey to have for keeps. I saw Nashville, New York City, and San Francisco. I learned things about myself I never dreamed I would. So, I'd say it was a success.

SO, here's where this blog is going this year...including my hopes and dreams...and everything in between. More. Just in the direction of more. I haven't touched it in so long, and I've missed it. I really have.

And here's a glance at my hoped-for accomplishments:

Floating Lanterns. Photoshop. Traveltraveltravel. Painted fingernails. More old movies, less pointless ones. Always read for class. Visit teach, and teach well. Be a teacher. Be a gym-goer.

PS. after this post I promise more pictures. promise.