on being a teacher.

Let me tell you the best thing about the last eight months of my life: I have grown exponentially. Becoming a teacher is possibly the best decision (besides getting married) I have ever made. It has been surprising. Exhausting. Overwhelming. Beautiful. Wonderful. Uncomfortable. Awkward. And just all around trying.

There are days I hate my students. There are days I could just give a great big hug to each and every one of them (which would be totally inappropriate of course). Teaching is such an interesting profession. And honestly, there is no way to fully comprehend how demanding and just downright hard it is until you've done it yourself.

Today marks the first day of fourth term. FOURTH TERM. Can I tell you something? That is a feat. It really is. A few weeks ago I had my exit interview with my BYU professor who has acted as my supervisor over the last year. As an intern, I'm still technically a student (or at least I was last semester) and I had to do a final interview where we discuss how things have gone so far, where I plan on going, how my students are doing, yada, yada, yada. I was terribly nervous for this particular meeting. I don't know why, I just knew that going into it, I was feeling particularly low in the teaching department. (3rd term/March does that to you--even veteran teachers I hear). This is why I nearly cried when Dr. Ostenson looked me in the eye and said something to the effect of, "There is no doubt in my mind that you need to be teaching in the classroom." Speechless. Really? Are  you sure? I didn't even have to ask him those questions because of how positive he was in his statement. And that truly made my experience worth it. I really feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And it feels incredible. He gave me a really, really nice recommendation letter and was just genuinely kind and complementary. He told me I by far had THE most difficult student out of any of the Interns this year and that made me feel like I seriously accomplished something big here.

Now I didn't say all of that just to brag, I said it because I want to remember it. I keep saying it, but this year was hard. And heaven knows there were many tears shed and many days I went to bed instead of dealing with it. But you know what? I made it! I really did! And that should be shared. Remembered. Applauded.

I couldn't be more grateful for my experience this year. And I look forward to my future experiences as a teacher. I can't say I feel 100% ready to be a parent, but gosh am I prepared. And I can owe that to my education as a teacher (and so many other things, but in large part to this).

And even though we started state testing today (five full days for the first round…yikes!), and one of my students most definitely submitted one sentence instead of a multi-paragraph essay (still mad at him about it), I'm quite excited for this term and for my last moments with these cute little 7th graders.

months of missing.

My thoughts on being a teacher, a letter to my baby girl (that I'm having in AUGUST! I have no idea how I'm already 5 months along...), and how I feel about moving to NYC will be happening here soon. I've realized that I desperately need some sort of outlet and I really miss writing. So here I am again, after so many months of missing on my blog.

To say my life is going to be changing soon is a bit of an understatement. I don't even know how to explain the thoughts constantly racing in my head. It is surreal and wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time. I'm an emotional wreck most days because, well, pregnancy will do that to you. But I also feel all sorts of blessed to be where I'm at. So many things to be thankful for! Know what I mean?

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." Alma 26:12

Life is a miracle, don't you think? I'm kind of in love with my little miracle of a life.