Sometimes I am overwhelmed. By decisions. By responsibilities. By life. And here is my disclaimer: I know everything will work out. I know everything will be okay. I know it could all be a lot worse.
Right now, life feels hard and confusing and stressful. But again, look to my disclaimer.
On this day ten years ago I was a scrawny 11-year-old kid that had no idea people could even imagine acts of terror. Not on an entire city, and especially not on a whole nation. I remember my dad waking me up and explaining to me what a terrorist was. It seemed like something in the movies. It couldn't be real.
Yet. It was. And so were the tears. The ones I watched my whole city shed. And the ones on the TV. The endless amounts of tears. Proud ones, angry ones, hurt ones.
I liked watching people come together though. Sometimes it makes me sad that we wait for the hard times to stand so close, but maybe that is the beauty in it. Those shiny moments of heroics in chaos, the glimpses we catch when it seems all is lost. There is goodness in people and love is the reason for it. Maybe we forget that, but I don't think we should.
Because when we remember the love in it, instead of the hate, or maybe even the love that overpowered the hate, we give reason to it. We give meaning to the innocent lives that were lost. Or at least, we try. We try to not let them, and the goodness they stood for, disappear.
*"But he reached for her hand and she reached for his hand and they leaped out
the window holding hands.
I try to whisper prayers for the sudden dead and the harrowed families of the
dead and the screaming souls of the murderers but I keep coming back to his
hand and her hand nestled in each other with such extraordinary ordinary
succinct ancient naked stunning perfect simple ferocious love.
Their hands reaching and joining are the most powerful prayer I can imagine,
the most eloquent, the most graceful. It is everything that we are capable of
against horror and loss and death. It is what makes me believe that we are not
craven fools and charlatans to believe in God, to believe that human beings
have greatness and holiness within them like seeds that open only under great
fires, to believe that some unimaginable essence of who we are persists past
the dissolution of what we were, to believe against such evil hourly evidence
that love is why we are here."
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